COVID-19 has been declared a pandemic and ‘pandemic’ is a big scary word - one that we, as adults, have a hard time contemplating. When things get big and scary for adults, there is a trickle-down effect on our children. In a time when so many adults are feeling more stressed and anxious than ever, helping our children navigate the stress when we often don’t have the answers they are asking for can increase our stress as parents and create a vicious cycle.

It is important to remember that stress impacts our immune system, so it is imperative during highly stressful times that we acknowledge our stress (don’t ignore it) and have a skill set that can help you relieve some it.  

Here are my top tips for helping your child navigate pandemic stressors from COVID-19.

Create Structure

Our brains like consistency and feel reassured by schedule. In a time when we don’t know when things are changing, this can be hard, so doing our best to keep a routine can help kids feel safe. If your kiddo’s school has been canceled because of COVID-19 and they will be home with you, set a routine and stick to it. Write out the schedule for the day and post it on the counter. Having a routine helps you to feel in control and your child to feel safe. 

Limit Screen Time

You may be thinking, “What am I going to do with these kids all day?” But if you have kids that are stressed or anxious (or are aware of what our current situation is), one of the worst things to do is give free access to screens because playing games, being on social media or vegging out could make their stress worse. Games and social media raise our cortisol levels. An overabundance of screen time will increase the amount of stress in their bodies, not release it. Also, the part of our brain stimulated by screens limits our brain’s ability to get into a relaxed state and can keep our brains in “stress response mode”.

Check in with Emotions

During this time, we can feel like we are on an emotional roller coaster. Our kids can feel this way, too! Hearing that your school is canceled because of COVID-19 can evoke mixed responses from joy to dread. And, those responses can change over time. What starts as joy can change to unrest and stress over days of social isolation and online school. Asking your kids often how they feel at quiet moments and allowing them time to express how they feel is essential. Kid’s feelings can often get glossed over as parents and caregivers struggle with the crucial tasks of keeping kids safe. Just telling kids “it’s going to be fine,” without giving them time to express worries, concerns and feelings can make kids feel isolated and alone. Sometimes we need to step back as parents from trying to “fix” our kids’ stress and just sit and really listen to how they feel. If your child struggles with expressing their feelings, asking them to write them down, or expressing some of your own feelings can help them to open up. 

Let Them Know That it’s OK to be Uncomfortable 

One thing our kids are not good with (nor are we as adults typically) is being uncomfortable - meaning, not knowing how to feel, react or handle situations. Even the feeling of boredom can be uncomfortable. Letting them know that uncomfortable is an OK way to feel is helpful. 

Just the feeling of discomfort can trigger a stress response, so learning to be self-aware of feelings and allowing them to pass can be a huge step in decreasing the stress response trigger. Many anxieties emerge from the unknown because the unknown feels really uncomfortable. Sitting in the present moment and acknowledging the feeling of discomfort, but knowing it will pass is key. Doing something concrete such as building something, playing a game or reading a book can help them reconnect with feelings of comfort. 

Increase Creativity and Gratitude

If worry, stress and nervousness are invading your child’s brain (or your own), creativity and gratitude can be two of your best allies in stress reduction. Gratitude is the ‘natural kryptonite’ to stress. It boosts our immune system, increases our connective thought patterns and keeps our positive neurotransmitters boosted, increasing our mood and outlook on life. Creativity and blocked off creative time can take our brains out of stress mode and move us into the more relaxed alpha and theta brain wavelengths that naturally will decrease our stress response.

If you are looking for a way to boost gratitude and need some help, check out BE GRATEFUL: 21 Gratitude-Boosting Family Activities.